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Have you tried cabbage soup? Guaranteed it'll make you poop. Spending all day on the bog, Passing one too many a log. Lose your muscle, lose your fat Cabbage soup will do just that. watery, green it's nutritious One thing it's not is delicious. But it's cheap to make, easy to grow, It'll help with your digestive flow. If you need help, please see me I'm the one that's rather cabbagey. For many a cabbage I do have, Then every hour be on your lav. Very soon you'll love your loo, As you drop yet another poo. Cabbage soup is that great, I should know as I'm never late. So try my cabbage recipe, It'll turn your pee green, hee-hee-hee.
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I am slug. Slug I am. That slug-I-Am That slug-I-Am I do not like That slug-I-Am Do you like Green eggs and slug? Would you like them Here or there? I would like them Here or there. I would like them Anywhere. I do like Green eggs and slug. But I do not like them, Slug-I-am... I LOVE GREEN EGGS AND SLUG. GIMME THE SLUG. MUNCH, MUNCH! Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they run. See how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife and got lost. Well, they are blind. There is a new fairy People beware, She’s golden and hairy And lures kids to her lair. This is not a normal fairy Oh you must believe, The fairy’s name is Mary, And she killed the slug, Steve. She’s into magic and potions And Goblins and such, She’s mixing a new one That’ll make you speak Dutch. Come to think of it This doesn’t seem right, Let me get back to you Before twilight… Later… Mary sounds more like a witch Than she does a fairy, That would explain Why her legs are so hairy. She flies on dragons Rather than brooms, They’re under her spell Cause she feeds ‘em magic mushrooms. She does have wings And they work just fine, But a slug attacked her And damaged her spine. Now Mary’s a granny Dear children take flight, For if she catches you You’ll be stew tonight. “Oh crikey!” said he, As he went for his tea. “Oh God!” said she, As she went to find me. “Oh my!” said I, As I saw the mice fly. “Oh wow!” said he, As he saw them go free. “Oh good!” said she, As she brought out the tea. “Oh well!” said I, As I waved goodbye. Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s Horses and all the King’s men, Refused to put him back together again. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men had already put a soft mattress there to cushion the fall and so Humpty Dumpty was quite okay.  A rat, not King Rat King Rat was a bald and rather troubled creature, His face had warts that was one feature. His eyesight was poor he had trouble to see, Something that thankfully doesn’t afflict me. His ears were big his nose was long, His backbone was indeed not very strong. For whenever he faced a problem he always ran, This was a rather pathetic old man. It got so bad he ended up alone, No one to turn to just his mirror to moan. There was however something else he had, Lots of money that drove him rather mad. Mad because he became so insecure, And for this my friends there is no cure. His love of money knew no bounds, He had a nose for it like a hound. His talent for it was quite startling, His desire however was disheartening. For what is money when you have no friends, No one to be with no reason to spend? Indeed he shunned those around, Forcing him to live underground. And this is where he remains, Decrepit, alone in much pain. Sharing his life with Baccarat, Crystal, clothes an expensive car. Covering face with a tilted hat, The unfortunate life of King Rat. My puppy’s name is Dave He’s blue, white and green, I don’t know if that’s true He’s never been seen. Yes he’s imaginary I made him up it’s true, ‘Cause I’m lonely And tangled up in blue. I imagine he’s nice That he’d never bark, We’d have fun together And play in the park. He’d bite the postman That would be rad, Pee on the rug Make my mum go mad. When I shout fetch He’d shake his head ‘no’, Turn away from me Making me go. On second thoughts That doesn’t sound good, Why can’t he go And fetch the stick of wood? Dave is a bad puppy He chews my shoes, Covers them in drool Which is stickier than glue. The puppy has to go The dream must end, He was sweet for a while Till he drove me round the bend. |
Elias ZappleSurplus rhymes from 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch' that were sitting, gathering dust and getting mouldy. Archives
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