Elias Zapple

  • Elias Zapple
  • About Elias Zapple
  • BOOKS
    • Duke & Michel >
      • Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor >
        • The Page that Belongeth to Duke
      • Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting
      • Duke & Michel: Return of the Nibbles
    • Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs >
      • BOOK OF SLUGS COLOURING BOOK
    • The Jellybean the Dragon Stories >
      • Jellybean the Dragon
      • Cyril the Dragon
      • Fillmore the Dragon
    • Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch >
      • Extra Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch
    • Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Stories >
      • 'Fangless'
      • 'Big Fangs'
      • 'Blood, Blood Everywhere'
      • 'Dead Again'
      • The Super Fang Collection
    • A Christmas Carol... Slimed
    • TRIXY AND FRIENDS >
      • TRIXY AND THE TROUBLESOME EGG
  • BLOG
  • MORE
    • INTERVIEWS & REVIEWS >
      • Elias Zapple Interviews...
      • Interviews
    • Cabbage Recipes
    • Recommended Authors & Author Links
  • Elias Zapple
  • About Elias Zapple
  • BOOKS
    • Duke & Michel >
      • Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor >
        • The Page that Belongeth to Duke
      • Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting
      • Duke & Michel: Return of the Nibbles
    • Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs >
      • BOOK OF SLUGS COLOURING BOOK
    • The Jellybean the Dragon Stories >
      • Jellybean the Dragon
      • Cyril the Dragon
      • Fillmore the Dragon
    • Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch >
      • Extra Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch
    • Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Stories >
      • 'Fangless'
      • 'Big Fangs'
      • 'Blood, Blood Everywhere'
      • 'Dead Again'
      • The Super Fang Collection
    • A Christmas Carol... Slimed
    • TRIXY AND FRIENDS >
      • TRIXY AND THE TROUBLESOME EGG
  • BLOG
  • MORE
    • INTERVIEWS & REVIEWS >
      • Elias Zapple Interviews...
      • Interviews
    • Cabbage Recipes
    • Recommended Authors & Author Links

Cabbage Soup

17/4/2015

0 Comments

 
Have you tried cabbage soup?
Guaranteed it'll make you poop.
Spending all day on the bog,
Passing one too many a log.
Lose your muscle, lose your fat
Cabbage soup will do just that.
watery, green it's nutritious
One thing it's not is delicious.
But it's cheap to make, easy to grow,
It'll help with your digestive flow.
If you need help, please see me
I'm the one that's rather cabbagey.
For many a cabbage I do have,
Then every hour be on your lav.
Very soon you'll love your loo,
As you drop yet another poo.
Cabbage soup is that great,
I should know as I'm never late.
So try my cabbage recipe,
It'll turn your pee green, hee-hee-hee.
0 Comments

Happy Xmas (Slug War Isn't Over)

23/12/2014

0 Comments

 
So, this is Christmas
And what have you thrown?
Another cabbage over
And a new one just grown

And so this is Christmas
I hope you have slugs
The slimy and the spicy ones
The old and the young

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy new Snazzy
Let's hope it's a good 'tache
He's always so flashy 

And so this is Christmas
For Dieter and for me
For cauliflowers and cabbages
I'll hit his noggin with glee

And so happy Christmas
For purple and for green
For no other colours
Will satisfy me

A very merry Christmas
And a happy new me
Let's hope you buy my books
Because I need the money

And so this is Christmas
And what have we said?
Read books by Zapple
And throw cabbages with lead

And so this is Christmas
I hope you eat a lot
When a slug has been bad
Just toss it into the pot

A very merry Zapple
I've drunk all the drink
There's no more Noggin Rocker™
My slugs poured it down the sink

War isn't over, Dieter
I don't want it
War isn't over, Dieter
Never
0 Comments

Green Eggs and Slug by Dr. Zapple

15/11/2014

0 Comments

 
I am slug.
Slug I am.

That slug-I-Am
That slug-I-Am
I do not like
That slug-I-Am

Do you like
Green eggs and slug?

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would like them
Here or there.
I would like them
Anywhere.
I do like
Green eggs and slug.
But I do not like them,
Slug-I-am...

I LOVE GREEN EGGS AND SLUG. GIMME THE SLUG. MUNCH, MUNCH!
0 Comments

The Gummy Slug Rhyme

18/9/2014

0 Comments

 
Some like gummy bears,
Some do not.
Some say they're good for teeth,
Others say they'll rot.

Well have you tried the gummy slug?
You really need to try.
They're fresh from my garden,
Slimy, sticky - good to fry!

Blah!
0 Comments

Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch

18/9/2014

0 Comments

 
0 Comments

Three Blind Mice

30/8/2014

0 Comments

 
Three blind mice. Three blind mice.
See how they run. See how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife
and got lost. Well, they are blind.
0 Comments

The New Tinker Bell

8/4/2014

2 Comments

 
There is a new fairy
People beware,
She’s golden and hairy
And lures kids to her lair.

This is not a normal fairy
Oh you must believe,
The fairy’s name is Mary,
And she killed the slug, Steve.

She’s into magic and potions
And Goblins and such,
She’s mixing a new one
That’ll make you speak Dutch.

Come to think of it
This doesn’t seem right,
Let me get back to you
Before twilight…

Later…

Mary sounds more like a witch
Than she does a fairy,
That would explain
Why her legs are so hairy.

She flies on dragons
Rather than brooms,
They’re under her spell
Cause she feeds ‘em magic mushrooms.

She does have wings
And they work just fine,
But a slug attacked her
And damaged her spine.

Now Mary’s a granny
Dear children take flight,
For if she catches you
You’ll be stew tonight.

2 Comments

"Oh!"

7/4/2014

0 Comments

 
“Oh crikey!” said he,
As he went for his tea.
“Oh God!” said she,
As she went to find me.
“Oh my!” said I,
As I saw the mice fly.

“Oh wow!” said he,
As he saw them go free.
“Oh good!” said she,
As she brought out the tea.
“Oh well!” said I,
As I waved goodbye.

0 Comments

Humpty Dumpty (2)

10/3/2014

0 Comments

 
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s Horses and all the King’s men,
Refused to put him back together again.
0 Comments

Humpty Dumpty

4/2/2014

0 Comments

 
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men had already put a soft mattress there to cushion the fall and so Humpty Dumpty was quite okay.
0 Comments
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    Elias Zapple

    Surplus rhymes from 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch' that were sitting, gathering dust and getting mouldy.

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    Categories

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    Cabbage Coffee Rhyme
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    Elias Zapple
    Expensive Christmas
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    Flying Mice
    Give Your Presents To Elias Zapple
    Green Eggs And Ham
    Green Eggs And Slug
    Guide Dogs
    Gummy Slug
    Hamsters
    Happy Xmas (Slug War Isn't Over)
    Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
    If I Were A Rich Man
    Injustice
    Jack & Jill
    John Lennon
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    Mary The Fairy
    Mice
    Michael Jackson
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    Modified Slugs
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    Nonsense
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    Oh!
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    Poem
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    Poetry
    Police
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    Puppy
    Purple Cabbages
    Rat
    Rats
    Rhyme
    Rhymes
    Rhymes From The Cabbage Patch
    Rich Vs Poor
    Rudolph
    Saint Nicholas
    Santa
    Silver Spoon
    Slugs
    Slugs Are Better Than Hamsters
    Slug Wars
    Smart Artt Vs. Slugs
    Strange Dogs
    Supermarket
    The Antelope
    The Ballad Of Elias Zapple
    The Ballad Of John & Yoko
    The Beatles
    The Gummy Bear Song
    The New Tinker Bell
    Three Blind Mice
    Tinker Bell
    Trees
    Trixie The Hamster
    Tulips
    WestJet
    Yoko Ono

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