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Have you tried cabbage soup? Guaranteed it'll make you poop. Spending all day on the bog, Passing one too many a log. Lose your muscle, lose your fat Cabbage soup will do just that. watery, green it's nutritious One thing it's not is delicious. But it's cheap to make, easy to grow, It'll help with your digestive flow. If you need help, please see me I'm the one that's rather cabbagey. For many a cabbage I do have, Then every hour be on your lav. Very soon you'll love your loo, As you drop yet another poo. Cabbage soup is that great, I should know as I'm never late. So try my cabbage recipe, It'll turn your pee green, hee-hee-hee.
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So, this is Christmas And what have you thrown? Another cabbage over And a new one just grown And so this is Christmas I hope you have slugs The slimy and the spicy ones The old and the young A very Merry Christmas And a happy new Snazzy Let's hope it's a good 'tache He's always so flashy And so this is Christmas For Dieter and for me For cauliflowers and cabbages I'll hit his noggin with glee And so happy Christmas For purple and for green For no other colours Will satisfy me A very merry Christmas And a happy new me Let's hope you buy my books Because I need the money And so this is Christmas And what have we said? Read books by Zapple And throw cabbages with lead And so this is Christmas I hope you eat a lot When a slug has been bad Just toss it into the pot A very merry Zapple I've drunk all the drink There's no more Noggin Rocker™ My slugs poured it down the sink War isn't over, Dieter I don't want it War isn't over, Dieter Never I am slug. Slug I am. That slug-I-Am That slug-I-Am I do not like That slug-I-Am Do you like Green eggs and slug? Would you like them Here or there? I would like them Here or there. I would like them Anywhere. I do like Green eggs and slug. But I do not like them, Slug-I-am... I LOVE GREEN EGGS AND SLUG. GIMME THE SLUG. MUNCH, MUNCH! Some like gummy bears, Some do not. Some say they're good for teeth, Others say they'll rot. Well have you tried the gummy slug? You really need to try. They're fresh from my garden, Slimy, sticky - good to fry! Blah! Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they run. See how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife and got lost. Well, they are blind. There is a new fairy People beware, She’s golden and hairy And lures kids to her lair. This is not a normal fairy Oh you must believe, The fairy’s name is Mary, And she killed the slug, Steve. She’s into magic and potions And Goblins and such, She’s mixing a new one That’ll make you speak Dutch. Come to think of it This doesn’t seem right, Let me get back to you Before twilight… Later… Mary sounds more like a witch Than she does a fairy, That would explain Why her legs are so hairy. She flies on dragons Rather than brooms, They’re under her spell Cause she feeds ‘em magic mushrooms. She does have wings And they work just fine, But a slug attacked her And damaged her spine. Now Mary’s a granny Dear children take flight, For if she catches you You’ll be stew tonight. “Oh crikey!” said he, As he went for his tea. “Oh God!” said she, As she went to find me. “Oh my!” said I, As I saw the mice fly. “Oh wow!” said he, As he saw them go free. “Oh good!” said she, As she brought out the tea. “Oh well!” said I, As I waved goodbye. Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s Horses and all the King’s men, Refused to put him back together again. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men had already put a soft mattress there to cushion the fall and so Humpty Dumpty was quite okay. |
Elias ZappleSurplus rhymes from 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch' that were sitting, gathering dust and getting mouldy. Archives
November 2015
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