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Some like gummy bears, Some do not. Some say they're good for teeth, Others say they'll rot. Well have you tried the gummy slug? You really need to try. They're fresh from my garden, Slimy, sticky - good to fry! Blah!
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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water... it never occurred to them to go to the supermarket. Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they run. See how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife and got lost. Well, they are blind. There is a new fairy People beware, She’s golden and hairy And lures kids to her lair. This is not a normal fairy Oh you must believe, The fairy’s name is Mary, And she killed the slug, Steve. She’s into magic and potions And Goblins and such, She’s mixing a new one That’ll make you speak Dutch. Come to think of it This doesn’t seem right, Let me get back to you Before twilight… Later… Mary sounds more like a witch Than she does a fairy, That would explain Why her legs are so hairy. She flies on dragons Rather than brooms, They’re under her spell Cause she feeds ‘em magic mushrooms. She does have wings And they work just fine, But a slug attacked her And damaged her spine. Now Mary’s a granny Dear children take flight, For if she catches you You’ll be stew tonight. “Oh crikey!” said he, As he went for his tea. “Oh God!” said she, As she went to find me. “Oh my!” said I, As I saw the mice fly. “Oh wow!” said he, As he saw them go free. “Oh good!” said she, As she brought out the tea. “Oh well!” said I, As I waved goodbye. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men had already put a soft mattress there to cushion the fall and so Humpty Dumpty was quite okay.  A rat, not King Rat King Rat was a bald and rather troubled creature, His face had warts that was one feature. His eyesight was poor he had trouble to see, Something that thankfully doesn’t afflict me. His ears were big his nose was long, His backbone was indeed not very strong. For whenever he faced a problem he always ran, This was a rather pathetic old man. It got so bad he ended up alone, No one to turn to just his mirror to moan. There was however something else he had, Lots of money that drove him rather mad. Mad because he became so insecure, And for this my friends there is no cure. His love of money knew no bounds, He had a nose for it like a hound. His talent for it was quite startling, His desire however was disheartening. For what is money when you have no friends, No one to be with no reason to spend? Indeed he shunned those around, Forcing him to live underground. And this is where he remains, Decrepit, alone in much pain. Sharing his life with Baccarat, Crystal, clothes an expensive car. Covering face with a tilted hat, The unfortunate life of King Rat. Trixie was a brown hamster Who loved to run around, Up and down his cage Is where he could be found. Trixie was a fluffy hamster Quite lovely to touch, He liked to sit in your hand He loved it very much. Trixie was a happy hamster He always liked to munch, On grains and bits of apple He never missed a lunch. Trixie was a cowardly hamster He would run away a lot, Even from his three-legged son Like he might be shot. Trixie was a naughty hamster He kept on running away, I had to bolt down his door To make sure that he would stay. Trixie was now an unhappy hamster As he was never allowed out, If he’d been able to talk I’m sure he’d love to yell at me and shout. Trixie is an ex-hamster They don’t live very long, Next time I’ll get a modified slug Cause they’re durable and strong. …And they’re slimy. On a mountain lives an Antelope, Sifts his nose through the rocks foraging for food. Can’t find any, he moves on, Clickety clock, clickety clock. In a mountain cave is where he lives, A rock for a pillow is how he sleeps. But he can’t, so he moves on, Clickety clock, clickety clock. On a mountaintop is where he sits, Looking around, surveying his habitat in case of hunters. Can’t find any, he moves on, Clickety clock, clickety clock. In a mountain pool is where he bathes, The vast warm water cleanses, helps him relax. But he can’t, so he moves on, Clickety clock, clickety clock. On a mountainside is where he works, Helps his fellow animal friends survive by watching out for them. Can’t find any, he moves on, Clickety clock, clickety clock. In a mountain stream is where he drinks, The cold flow of water helps cool him down. But he can’t, so he moves on, Clickety clock, clickety clock. On a mountainside the Antelope walks into a trap, He hears a gunshot, bang, he gets hit in the back. His heartbeat slows, he moves on, Clickety clock, clickety thud. |
Elias ZappleSurplus rhymes from 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch' that were sitting, gathering dust and getting mouldy. Archives
November 2015
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