Elias Zapple

  • Elias Zapple
  • About Elias Zapple
  • BOOKS
    • Duke & Michel >
      • Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor >
        • The Page that Belongeth to Duke
      • Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting
      • Duke & Michel: Return of the Nibbles
    • Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs >
      • BOOK OF SLUGS COLOURING BOOK
    • The Jellybean the Dragon Stories >
      • Jellybean the Dragon
      • Cyril the Dragon
      • Fillmore the Dragon
    • Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch >
      • Extra Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch
    • Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Stories >
      • 'Fangless'
      • 'Big Fangs'
      • 'Blood, Blood Everywhere'
      • 'Dead Again'
      • The Super Fang Collection
    • A Christmas Carol... Slimed
    • TRIXY AND FRIENDS >
      • TRIXY AND THE TROUBLESOME EGG
  • BLOG
  • MORE
    • INTERVIEWS & REVIEWS >
      • Elias Zapple Interviews...
      • Interviews
    • Cabbage Recipes
    • Recommended Authors & Author Links
  • Elias Zapple
  • About Elias Zapple
  • BOOKS
    • Duke & Michel >
      • Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor >
        • The Page that Belongeth to Duke
      • Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting
      • Duke & Michel: Return of the Nibbles
    • Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs >
      • BOOK OF SLUGS COLOURING BOOK
    • The Jellybean the Dragon Stories >
      • Jellybean the Dragon
      • Cyril the Dragon
      • Fillmore the Dragon
    • Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch >
      • Extra Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch
    • Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Stories >
      • 'Fangless'
      • 'Big Fangs'
      • 'Blood, Blood Everywhere'
      • 'Dead Again'
      • The Super Fang Collection
    • A Christmas Carol... Slimed
    • TRIXY AND FRIENDS >
      • TRIXY AND THE TROUBLESOME EGG
  • BLOG
  • MORE
    • INTERVIEWS & REVIEWS >
      • Elias Zapple Interviews...
      • Interviews
    • Cabbage Recipes
    • Recommended Authors & Author Links

Lulu the Slug

1/11/2015

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Lulu the Slug needed a hug
​But I was feeling down so I cooked him.
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Cabbage Soup

17/4/2015

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Have you tried cabbage soup?
Guaranteed it'll make you poop.
Spending all day on the bog,
Passing one too many a log.
Lose your muscle, lose your fat
Cabbage soup will do just that.
watery, green it's nutritious
One thing it's not is delicious.
But it's cheap to make, easy to grow,
It'll help with your digestive flow.
If you need help, please see me
I'm the one that's rather cabbagey.
For many a cabbage I do have,
Then every hour be on your lav.
Very soon you'll love your loo,
As you drop yet another poo.
Cabbage soup is that great,
I should know as I'm never late.
So try my cabbage recipe,
It'll turn your pee green, hee-hee-hee.
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Cabbage Coffee

22/3/2015

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Just the other day,
When the sun did shine
And the moon did neigh,
I ground up some cabbage
And a little bit of coffee
Grabbed a piece and chewed some toffee.

Then I drank from the cup
With the splendid mixture
It geed me up to watch the fixture
Sad I became as the fixture drew out
No longer would I sing nor would I shout

The cabbage coffee's power failed to muster
And I ended up feeling a tad lacklustre
So I threw it away and tried again
Adding in a slug for a good omen.

And of course it worked, adding slug always does
If only I'd remembered there'd be less fuss
Cabbage coffee with slug does do the trick
But it also makes me horrendously sick!
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Smart Artt Vs. Slugs

25/1/2015

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Smart Artt is a baby,
that'll help yours grow.
Smart Artt is a baby,
That'll help yours know.
Smart Artt is a baby,
That'll share in the fun.
Smart Artt is a baby,
That wouldn't eat a slug bun.

Smart Artt is a baby,
He isn't a slug.
Smart Artt is a baby,
He isn't slimy to hug.
Smart Artt is a baby,
He wouldn't slime your kitchen,
Smart Artt is a baby
He really is quite fetchin'.

I'm not sure what the last line has to do with slugs.
Pretty sure that Clyde the Slug poisoned one of my mugs.
But the repetitive rhyme had to end,
It was indeed driving me around the bend.

And now i've quite forgotten what this rhyme is about,
I would like to however give Smart Artt a shout.

So Though you're not a slug
Nor throw cabbages at dieter's noggin,
Your contribution was pretty helpful and you really are quite rockin'! 
0 Comments

Mistress Mary

17/1/2015

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Mistress Mary, Quite contrary,
How does your moustache grow?
With girls' pigtails, And horrid snails,
And so your 'tache does fail.

Even with your fairy powers,
and your penchant for red meat.
the fluffy thing above your lip,
cannot mr snazzy beat.

so back to your cauldron, mary
for another potion you must try.
hope this one will succeed,
as mr snazzy is not available to buy.
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Happy Xmas (Slug War Isn't Over)

23/12/2014

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So, this is Christmas
And what have you thrown?
Another cabbage over
And a new one just grown

And so this is Christmas
I hope you have slugs
The slimy and the spicy ones
The old and the young

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy new Snazzy
Let's hope it's a good 'tache
He's always so flashy 

And so this is Christmas
For Dieter and for me
For cauliflowers and cabbages
I'll hit his noggin with glee

And so happy Christmas
For purple and for green
For no other colours
Will satisfy me

A very merry Christmas
And a happy new me
Let's hope you buy my books
Because I need the money

And so this is Christmas
And what have we said?
Read books by Zapple
And throw cabbages with lead

And so this is Christmas
I hope you eat a lot
When a slug has been bad
Just toss it into the pot

A very merry Zapple
I've drunk all the drink
There's no more Noggin Rocker™
My slugs poured it down the sink

War isn't over, Dieter
I don't want it
War isn't over, Dieter
Never
0 Comments

Green Eggs and Slug by Dr. Zapple

15/11/2014

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I am slug.
Slug I am.

That slug-I-Am
That slug-I-Am
I do not like
That slug-I-Am

Do you like
Green eggs and slug?

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would like them
Here or there.
I would like them
Anywhere.
I do like
Green eggs and slug.
But I do not like them,
Slug-I-am...

I LOVE GREEN EGGS AND SLUG. GIMME THE SLUG. MUNCH, MUNCH!
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The Gummy Slug Rhyme

18/9/2014

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Some like gummy bears,
Some do not.
Some say they're good for teeth,
Others say they'll rot.

Well have you tried the gummy slug?
You really need to try.
They're fresh from my garden,
Slimy, sticky - good to fry!

Blah!
0 Comments

Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch

18/9/2014

0 Comments

 
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The Elias Zapple Slug

16/9/2014

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Green, slimy and sticky to the touch,
Clever, cunning and able to speak Dutch.
Quiet, agile and lovely to hug,
Loyal, obedient the Elias Zapple slug.
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<<Previous

    Elias Zapple

    Surplus rhymes from 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch' that were sitting, gathering dust and getting mouldy.

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    Archives

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    Categories

    All
    1856
    Animals
    Antelopes
    Aristocrats
    Baccarat
    Ballads
    Bed-in
    Ben
    Brown Hamsters
    Cabbage Coffee
    Cabbage Coffee Rhyme
    Cabbages
    Cabbage Soup
    Camberwell
    Charles Dickens
    Children's Books
    Christmas
    Dave
    Dave The Puppy
    Dieter
    Dogs
    Dragons
    Dr. Seuss
    Elias Zapple
    Expensive Christmas
    Fairies
    Father Christmas
    Father Xmas
    Fiddler On The Roof
    Flying Mice
    Give Your Presents To Elias Zapple
    Green Eggs And Ham
    Green Eggs And Slug
    Guide Dogs
    Gummy Slug
    Hamsters
    Happy Xmas (Slug War Isn't Over)
    Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
    If I Were A Rich Man
    Injustice
    Jack & Jill
    John Lennon
    King Rat
    Lab Mice
    Maputo
    Mary
    Mary The Fairy
    Mice
    Michael Jackson
    Minecraft
    Mistress Mary
    Modified Slugs
    Nat
    Nonsense
    Nursery Rhymes
    Oh!
    Peace
    Poem
    Poems
    Poetry
    Police
    Presents
    Puppy
    Purple Cabbages
    Rat
    Rats
    Rhyme
    Rhymes
    Rhymes From The Cabbage Patch
    Rich Vs Poor
    Rudolph
    Saint Nicholas
    Santa
    Silver Spoon
    Slugs
    Slugs Are Better Than Hamsters
    Slug Wars
    Smart Artt Vs. Slugs
    Strange Dogs
    Supermarket
    The Antelope
    The Ballad Of Elias Zapple
    The Ballad Of John & Yoko
    The Beatles
    The Gummy Bear Song
    The New Tinker Bell
    Three Blind Mice
    Tinker Bell
    Trees
    Trixie The Hamster
    Tulips
    WestJet
    Yoko Ono

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