Lulu the Slug needed a hug
But I was feeling down so I cooked him.
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Have you tried cabbage soup? Guaranteed it'll make you poop. Spending all day on the bog, Passing one too many a log. Lose your muscle, lose your fat Cabbage soup will do just that. watery, green it's nutritious One thing it's not is delicious. But it's cheap to make, easy to grow, It'll help with your digestive flow. If you need help, please see me I'm the one that's rather cabbagey. For many a cabbage I do have, Then every hour be on your lav. Very soon you'll love your loo, As you drop yet another poo. Cabbage soup is that great, I should know as I'm never late. So try my cabbage recipe, It'll turn your pee green, hee-hee-hee. Just the other day, When the sun did shine And the moon did neigh, I ground up some cabbage And a little bit of coffee Grabbed a piece and chewed some toffee. Then I drank from the cup With the splendid mixture It geed me up to watch the fixture Sad I became as the fixture drew out No longer would I sing nor would I shout The cabbage coffee's power failed to muster And I ended up feeling a tad lacklustre So I threw it away and tried again Adding in a slug for a good omen. And of course it worked, adding slug always does If only I'd remembered there'd be less fuss Cabbage coffee with slug does do the trick But it also makes me horrendously sick! Smart Artt is a baby,
that'll help yours grow. Smart Artt is a baby, That'll help yours know. Smart Artt is a baby, That'll share in the fun. Smart Artt is a baby, That wouldn't eat a slug bun. Smart Artt is a baby, He isn't a slug. Smart Artt is a baby, He isn't slimy to hug. Smart Artt is a baby, He wouldn't slime your kitchen, Smart Artt is a baby He really is quite fetchin'. I'm not sure what the last line has to do with slugs. Pretty sure that Clyde the Slug poisoned one of my mugs. But the repetitive rhyme had to end, It was indeed driving me around the bend. And now i've quite forgotten what this rhyme is about, I would like to however give Smart Artt a shout. So Though you're not a slug Nor throw cabbages at dieter's noggin, Your contribution was pretty helpful and you really are quite rockin'! Mistress Mary, Quite contrary,
How does your moustache grow? With girls' pigtails, And horrid snails, And so your 'tache does fail. Even with your fairy powers, and your penchant for red meat. the fluffy thing above your lip, cannot mr snazzy beat. so back to your cauldron, mary for another potion you must try. hope this one will succeed, as mr snazzy is not available to buy. So, this is Christmas And what have you thrown? Another cabbage over And a new one just grown And so this is Christmas I hope you have slugs The slimy and the spicy ones The old and the young A very Merry Christmas And a happy new Snazzy Let's hope it's a good 'tache He's always so flashy And so this is Christmas For Dieter and for me For cauliflowers and cabbages I'll hit his noggin with glee And so happy Christmas For purple and for green For no other colours Will satisfy me A very merry Christmas And a happy new me Let's hope you buy my books Because I need the money And so this is Christmas And what have we said? Read books by Zapple And throw cabbages with lead And so this is Christmas I hope you eat a lot When a slug has been bad Just toss it into the pot A very merry Zapple I've drunk all the drink There's no more Noggin Rocker™ My slugs poured it down the sink War isn't over, Dieter I don't want it War isn't over, Dieter Never I am slug. Slug I am. That slug-I-Am That slug-I-Am I do not like That slug-I-Am Do you like Green eggs and slug? Would you like them Here or there? I would like them Here or there. I would like them Anywhere. I do like Green eggs and slug. But I do not like them, Slug-I-am... I LOVE GREEN EGGS AND SLUG. GIMME THE SLUG. MUNCH, MUNCH! Some like gummy bears, Some do not. Some say they're good for teeth, Others say they'll rot. Well have you tried the gummy slug? You really need to try. They're fresh from my garden, Slimy, sticky - good to fry! Blah! Green, slimy and sticky to the touch, Clever, cunning and able to speak Dutch. Quiet, agile and lovely to hug, Loyal, obedient the Elias Zapple slug. |
Elias ZappleSurplus rhymes from 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch' that were sitting, gathering dust and getting mouldy. Archives
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