Elias Zapple

  • Elias Zapple
  • About Elias Zapple
  • BOOKS
    • Duke & Michel >
      • Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor >
        • The Page that Belongeth to Duke
      • Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting
      • Duke & Michel: Return of the Nibbles
    • Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs >
      • BOOK OF SLUGS COLOURING BOOK
    • The Jellybean the Dragon Stories >
      • Jellybean the Dragon
      • Cyril the Dragon
      • Fillmore the Dragon
    • Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch >
      • Extra Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch
    • Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Stories >
      • 'Fangless'
      • 'Big Fangs'
      • 'Blood, Blood Everywhere'
      • 'Dead Again'
      • The Super Fang Collection
    • A Christmas Carol... Slimed
    • TRIXY AND FRIENDS >
      • TRIXY AND THE TROUBLESOME EGG
  • BLOG
  • MORE
    • INTERVIEWS & REVIEWS >
      • Elias Zapple Interviews...
      • Interviews
    • Cabbage Recipes
    • Recommended Authors & Author Links
  • Elias Zapple
  • About Elias Zapple
  • BOOKS
    • Duke & Michel >
      • Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor >
        • The Page that Belongeth to Duke
      • Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting
      • Duke & Michel: Return of the Nibbles
    • Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs >
      • BOOK OF SLUGS COLOURING BOOK
    • The Jellybean the Dragon Stories >
      • Jellybean the Dragon
      • Cyril the Dragon
      • Fillmore the Dragon
    • Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch >
      • Extra Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch
    • Nicu - The Littlest Vampire Stories >
      • 'Fangless'
      • 'Big Fangs'
      • 'Blood, Blood Everywhere'
      • 'Dead Again'
      • The Super Fang Collection
    • A Christmas Carol... Slimed
    • TRIXY AND FRIENDS >
      • TRIXY AND THE TROUBLESOME EGG
  • BLOG
  • MORE
    • INTERVIEWS & REVIEWS >
      • Elias Zapple Interviews...
      • Interviews
    • Cabbage Recipes
    • Recommended Authors & Author Links

Dave the Puppy

30/12/2013

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My puppy’s name is Dave
He’s blue, white and green,
I don’t know if that’s true
He’s never been seen.

Yes he’s imaginary
I made him up it’s true,
‘Cause I’m lonely
And tangled up in blue.

I imagine he’s nice
That he’d never bark,
We’d have fun together
And play in the park.

He’d bite the postman
That would be rad,
Pee on the rug
Make my mum go mad.

When I shout fetch
He’d shake his head ‘no’,
Turn away from me
Making me go.

On second thoughts
That doesn’t sound good,
Why can’t he go
And fetch the stick of wood?

Dave is a bad puppy
He chews my shoes,
Covers them in drool
Which is stickier than glue.

The puppy has to go
The dream must end,
He was sweet for a while
Till he drove me round the bend.
0 Comments

Trixie the Hamster

28/12/2013

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Trixie was a brown hamster
Who loved to run around,
Up and down his cage
Is where he could be found.

Trixie was a fluffy hamster
Quite lovely to touch,
He liked to sit in your hand
He loved it very much.

Trixie was a happy hamster
He always liked to munch,
On grains and bits of apple
He never missed a lunch.

Trixie was a cowardly hamster
He would run away a lot,
Even from his three-legged son
Like he might be shot.

Trixie was a naughty hamster
He kept on running away,
I had to bolt down his door
To make sure that he would stay.

Trixie was now an unhappy hamster
As he was never allowed out,
If he’d been able to talk
I’m sure he’d love to yell at me and shout.

Trixie is an ex-hamster
They don’t live very long,
Next time I’ll get a modified slug
Cause they’re durable and strong.
…And they’re slimy.

0 Comments

Rich Man's Greed

28/12/2013

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A mother gave birth in 1856,
She was alone and lived out in the sticks.
After a lot of pain and struggle, she gave birth to a boy,
With some deliberation later she called him Roy.

They lived alone in the middle of a wood, 
Happy and content doing the best they could.
Roy grew up to be a fine young man,
Working a small piece of arable land.

Their small little house and small little land,
Was surrounded by property owned by a rich little man.
He, a silver spoon millionaire, wanted to expand,
So the tyrant he was, forced his hand.

He offered them pittance to give up all they had,
Or, he warned them, if he wanted he could be very bad.
Even with the warning they declined not wishing to sell,
The rich little man paid some men to go and cause hell.

This they did without regret,
Leaving them homeless as she sat by and wept.
The son, who had gone to town,
Found his mother outside, dressed in a torn gown.

Battered and bruised she told him what they’d done,
How they destroyed all they had as if it was fun.
Angry and upset he stormed up to the man’s mansion,
Shouting and screaming, thumping the door with a passion.

The butler opened the door and tried not to let him in,
But Roy was forceful and managed to bypass him.
Seeing the rich little man in the corner, he headed straight for,
Not seeing the police and aristocrats that mingled by the door.

They beat Roy with all they had,
Then tied him up at the back.
The rich little man with the aristocrats and police,
Put a gun to his head and counted to three.

Roy slumped over, blood rushing,
The rich little man said, “Isn’t this touching?”
They carted the body away to his destroyed home,
Where they dumped him by his mother, who was on her own.
The mother collapsed, died, watched on by the rich little man,
Knowing he had got his precious little land.

0 Comments

The Antelope

28/12/2013

0 Comments

 
On a mountain lives an Antelope,
Sifts his nose through the rocks foraging for food.
Can’t find any, he moves on, 
Clickety clock, clickety clock.

In a mountain cave is where he lives,
A rock for a pillow is how he sleeps.
But he can’t, so he moves on,
Clickety clock, clickety clock.

On a mountaintop is where he sits,
Looking around, surveying his habitat in case of hunters.
Can’t find any, he moves on,
Clickety clock, clickety clock.

In a mountain pool is where he bathes,
The vast warm water cleanses, helps him relax.
But he can’t, so he moves on,
Clickety clock, clickety clock.

On a mountainside is where he works,
Helps his fellow animal friends survive by watching out for them.
Can’t find any, he moves on,
Clickety clock, clickety clock.

In a mountain stream is where he drinks,
The cold flow of water helps cool him down.
But he can’t, so he moves on,
Clickety clock, clickety clock.

On a mountainside the Antelope walks into a trap,
He hears a gunshot, bang, he gets hit in the back.
His heartbeat slows, he moves on,
Clickety clock, clickety thud.

0 Comments

    Elias Zapple

    Surplus rhymes from 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch' that were sitting, gathering dust and getting mouldy.

    goodreads

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    If I Were A Rich Man
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    Rich Vs Poor
    Rudolph
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    Silver Spoon
    Slugs
    Slugs Are Better Than Hamsters
    Slug Wars
    Smart Artt Vs. Slugs
    Strange Dogs
    Supermarket
    The Antelope
    The Ballad Of Elias Zapple
    The Ballad Of John & Yoko
    The Beatles
    The Gummy Bear Song
    The New Tinker Bell
    Three Blind Mice
    Tinker Bell
    Trees
    Trixie The Hamster
    Tulips
    WestJet
    Yoko Ono

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