Elias: Hello, Mary. Thank you for doing this interview.
Mary: I would've given both legs to do this interview as I am in such awe of you.
Elias: Your children's book is called ZiyZo, which is quite a strange name. Are you also quite strange?
Mary: It's not me that's strange. It's everyone else. I have no idea why I'm trapped in this heavy material world and not flying about in fairy land. I make huge efforts to pass as normal which are (obviously) not always successful.
Elias: What inspired you to enter into the financially lucrative world of children's fiction?
Mary: I've never left the world of children's fiction. My earliest friends lived in the pages of Hans Christian Anderson's stories, my best friend being the Little Mermaid. As I grew older, I bonded with Frodo and Sam and journeyed to Mount Doom on countless occasions. I wouldn't call my own work fiction. It's all real to me.
Regarding money, I get a fail on that. The word lucrative is in a foreign language.
Elias: If you weren't a struggling author, what else would you be struggling in?
Mary: I'd like to make films. Thought films that would transmit images straight from my mind to the screen without having to waste time writing scripts and raising huge amounts of money. Every day is a struggle when you'd rather fly than walk.
In the meantime I'm taking photographs and dreaming.
Elias: Are you a sprout person or a cabbage person?
Mary: Give me sprouts, give me cabbage, love them both. Chomp, chomp, crunch. I'm a happy vegetarian.
P.S. I am not a caterpillar.
Elias: You seem to be quite obsessed with magic, dragons and other such things. Are you a dangerous person and, if so, should we burn you at the stake?
Mary: Magic is the air I breathe. When young I studied the magical skills required by the dictator type of wizard. Luckily I changed direction or I'd be like the Thief in ZiyZo. Although I don't blame him as he suffered traumatic events in his childhood (yet to be revealed). I'm hoping he'll undergo a transformation by the end of the series. At the moment he's very very dangerous.
I, on the other hand, am a harmless grandmother, so keep the stake for vampire hunting.
Elias: What's the name of your favourite author who's first name begins with an E and surname starts with the letter Z?
Mary: That's an easy one. Esyllt Zaira. Her writing is only available in parchment form so not mainstream at the moment. I cannot reveal the subject of her work.
Elias: Butter or jam on your toast?
Mary: Neither. Olive oil. And tomatoes. Plus I never say no to cabbage. Chomp, chomp, crunch etc.
Elias: Your middle name, Josefina, suggests some Spanish heritage. Are you a spy working for the Spanish government?
Mary: I was born into a Catholic family on St Joseph's day, but after an unfortunate experience in the baptismal font I failed to bond with priests and nuns. My allegiance lies elsewhere, with Arthur, the once and future king, my hero. And with his greatest warrior, Prince Bedwyr. So I'm a true Brit.
Elias: What other projects do you have in the pipeline aside from your project of creating a real-life, fire-breathing dragon that you hope will do your bidding?
Mary: I've always been obsessed with ancient history and Elizabethan England, so time travel is my top priority. I need to confer with the original druids. In my book for adults, The Bermondsey Grail, Adelaide actually gets to do this. SO jealous.
Christopher Marlowe and Will Shakespeare are top of my 'have to meet' wish list. I'd like to find out if Shakespeare did write his plays. Or not.
Dragons don't make good domestic pets. I keep mine hidden in the Egyptian sculpture galleries of the British Museum.
Elias: If you become a successful author, do you promise to donate all your royalties to Elias Zapple?
Mary: Even if I earned as much as the great J.K. there'd be nothing left for you. The bill from the British Museum is growing daily. Dragon fire is incredibly destructive and ancient Egyptian sculptures cost zillions to replace.
Thank you, Mary. I'm glad you were able to manage not to faint whilst in my presence.
For Mary's website click here
ZiyZo is a London fairy tale for pre teens, teenagers and anyone who is interested in the latest magical upgrades and developments.
'Online dragon chasing, with a great prize. Twelve year old Ben and Tayo can't resist the new game, ZiyZo. Only...... ZiyZo is a cyber trap, laid by a magically talented young thief, the inventor of mobile/cell phone magic and text spells. The Thief has stolen the Magician's Fire, a small crystal ball that contains the power to control all electrical energy. In order to open the Magician's Fire the Thief needs to use traditional magic, cruel and terrifying traditional magic. In a very short time the two boys and their friends Jess, Kate and Arthur are placed in a situation of extreme danger.'
The Bermondsey Grail
A ghost in the office, drowned lovers trapped in a supernatural river & magical druid music. Adelaide needs help!
'Adelaide hates her job as a postal/mail room clerk, but how else is a dream centred musician to earn a living? Then...... One dark winter morning she is swept up by a supernatural river and dropped on the floor of her office beside the ghost of a drowned young man. So begins the mysterious adventure of the Bermondsey Grail, a London fairy tale. Adelaide and her two young companions, Joe and Imogen, race to outwit rival Grail seekers, their actions interweaving with past events, creating a new and dangerous reality. Legend, love, magic and twenty first century office procedures combine to bring the story to a thrilling conclusion.'
My moustache is great, my slugs are great, my cabbages are great and Elias Zapple is meh.