Elias: Welcome, Christopher. Thanks for coming.
Christopher: You're welcome, Elias. I admire you and your slugs so much and I'm also insanely envious of your Mr Snazzy.
Elias: I believe you're from Chichester and your books are also set in Chichester. Are you a little obsessed with Manchester?
Christopher: Manchester? Never heard of it. Chichester or Chi as we like to call it (rhymes with eye not knee) is 15 mins from the beach, 15 mins from Glorious Goodwood - what's not to like?
Elias: Are you hoping Creatures of Chichester will do for Chichester what Sherlock Holmes did for Baker Street and, indeed, what I've done for both Camberwell and Maputo?
Christopher: I don't think the creatures would like it if we were over-run by Twolegs. The bats at the Sports Centre, Punchbag and Rowina Duckpond can get pretty mean. (I think Rowina never forgave her dad for the stupid name).
Elias: Why are there no slugs in your Creatures of Chichester books? Are you a slugist?
Christopher: In fact I don't think there are any molluscs in the books so far. Bees and ladybirds and spiders but no slugs. I'm not slugist, just a little scared of what they may do.
Elias: Is one of your characters, Mr Penfold, named after Penfold from the cartoon, Dangermouse?
Christopher: No he's named after Mr Penfold who runs the butcher's called....ummm..Penfolds in Chichester. Who says creativity is dead? I have to get cheap steaks somehow!
Elias: You've had many jobs throughout your life. Ever been a cabbage thrower?
Christopher: Never thrown a cabbage but I have in it on my bucket list along with growing a moustache, visiting Maputo and buying a sluggery.
Elias: Which of your many, many, many jobs has been the biggest source of inspiration for your books? How much does my moustache, Mr Snazzy inspire you?
Christopher: Okay I have been around a bit, teaching little darlings in Slough was an inspiration. At least to stop teaching anyway. No I love them really and some of them even made it to adulthood. I'm really more inspired by the moustache of my illustrator Joe Elgie. Check it out.
Elias: Would you like to try a grilled slug garnished with rosemary and basil?
Christopher: Depends if Rosemary and Basil are okay about it.
Elias: If your books were turned into animated films, who do you imagine would do the voices? I myself have a splendid voice that rivals Brian Blessed.
Christopher: You're booked!
Elias: What is your writing environment like? Cup of herbal tea close at hand, surrounded by many an admiring slug?
Christopher: I have a lovely office overlooking the garden I designed which does have some lovely hostas and therefore the odd admiring slug.
Elias: Any other books planned for this series or maybe something brand new? Perhaps a biography of Elias Zapple?
Christopher: I am working on the third book called 'the one about the curious cloud' which has weird and wonderful effects on the Twolegs of Chichester. Luckily, Plectrum, the rabbit from the music shop is on hand to save the day. I might do a biography at a later date of my dear friend Elijah Dapple.
Thank you, Christopher.
The Creatures of Chichester: The One About the Mystery Blaze
The Twolegs of Chichester are awoken by a blazing inferno just days before Christmas. Evil clowns are roaming the city’s streets, and they are not here to throw custard pies. Two adorable hamsters, Shandy and Mash from South Street, have been badly injured in the fire and desperately need help. It’s time for Button and Stitchley, the intrepid spiders from North Street, to once again call upon the creatures of Chichester to solve the mystery, and this time there is a sting in the tail.
The Creatures of Chichester: The One About the Stolen Dog
It’s the summer of 2012 and most of the Twolegs in Chichester, England are having a good time but not Mr Penfold because someone has stolen his dog.
A little red-headed Twoleg was last seen leading the dog away - but that was days ago.
Button and Stitchley, two intrepid spiders living in North Street, decide to get to the bottom of the crime.
They enlist the help of other creatures in the city to find out just who the vile dognapper is.
But it’s not easy; the cats hate the dogs; the mice are not too fond of the falcons and don’t even mention the bats!
My moustache is great, my slugs are great, my cabbages are great and Elias Zapple is meh.