I do enjoy listening to the odd tune when hurling cabbages, setting the mood for my slugs to procreate or pricking my finger so that I may write another glorious sentence in the stunningly funny Duke & Michel saga. What kind of music, I don't hear you ask? Well, depends on what I'm doing. If it's to help my slugs go to battle then something like a Beethoven fused with Rage Against the Machine seems to do the trick but if it's for them to help them make their own kind of music then I find Marvin Gaye to be splendid. When I hurl cabbages, it needs to be something with a bit of fire and I quite enjoy a little Metallica on some days and Nirvana on others. Now, when I write, well nothing beats The Beatles for true inspiration. A most innovative band, as innovative as I am with my prose and the tactics I employ when targeting Dieter. How about when I'm grooming Mr Snazzy? Well, he's a gentle fellow and he prefers more calming, chilled tones so I stick on a bit of Sigur Ros or Massive Attack. That sort of music seems to put him right in the mood to be groomed.
Overly concerned citizens often ask me why Dieter and I dislike each other so and why I persist in hurling cabbages at him. Well, much like a hunter may hunt a fox to control the population, I grow an over-abundance of cabbages that need to be gotten rid of. One way I found was to irritate my neighbour by throwing them at him and leave the surplus cabbages on his grounds. During this time I have improved my aim dramatically. But why him? I hear you ask. Well, when Dieter first moved here he had a rather pathetic, minuscule moustache and since witnessing mine has constantly tried to outshine Mr Snazzy. Of course, he never can but he does try and for this, I hate him and will never cease in using his head as target practise and as a way of getting rid of surplus cabbages.
In Maputo I am known for my love of tinned tuna.