Mr Snazzy has been on at me to let him become a beard. I'm just not so sure whether it's a good idea. Everybody associates Zapple with a moustache, Mr Snazzy the moustache. And Mr Snazzy is famed throughout the lands as being a moustache not a beard. Yet every morning as I greet Mr Snazzy he does go on and on demanding me to stop castrating him and let him fulfil his destiny. Just like every angel wants its wings, Mr Snazzy wants more hair. Hmm, sounds an awful like expansion. WHere will it stop? Will he desire even more facial space until I look like a gorilla? No, I shall have to stop him and tell him in no uncertain terms that he'll always be a moustache and nothing more.
Zapple's shop is now open! visit it here:
it's full of slug-tastic stuff. t-shirts, hoodies, iphone cases, posters and... that's about it for now. more to come soon!
Nine year-old Florin is a thirsty vampire. The reason? Most of his blood has been sucked out by his friend, Nicu. Florin rampages through the town of Biertan, drinking as much blood as he can. Soon everyone in Biertan is low on blood, and seeking revenge on all vampires. Nicu faces a big challenge. Keeping Florin in check and stopping the angry townspeople from killing vampires.
Want to win a signed copy of Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor and have your idea featured in an upcoming book? Then follow these instructions:
1) Follow me on Twitter @EliasZapple and get all the latest Zapple news!
2) Follow me on Facebook to get more of the same news!
3) I'm creating a brand new slug in my laboratory and it needs a name and a super power. What name and super power would you give the slug?
Send me your idea for a name and super power, as well as your own real name and email address to me here.
That's it! Get your thinking caps on, twiddle your moustache and start scribbling!
Terms and Conditions:
1) The winning entry will be selected by Elias Zapple and will be notified by email within 7 days of the closing date. If the winner cannot be contacted within 14 days of notification, he reserves the right to withdraw the prize from the winner and pick a replacement winner.
2) Closing date for entries is 31st July, 2014.
3) When contacted, please provide a mailing address in which to receive your signed copy of Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor. Elias Zapple will not be responsible for any loss or damage to the book.
4) The winning entrant will be notified when the book featuring the idea will be released.
5) Elias Zapple's decision in respect of all matters to do with the competition will be final and no correspondence will be entered into.
6) Elias Zapple reserves the right to cancel or amend the competition and these terms and conditions without notice.
7) No cash alternative to the prizes will be offered. The prizes are not transferable.
8) The winner agrees to the use of his/her name in any publicity material. Any personal data relating to the winner or any other entrants will be used solely in accordance with current UK data protection legislation and will not be disclosed to a third party without the entrant’s prior consent.
9) The winner agrees to allow the use of their idea in the upcoming, as yet unnamed book, and will not seek recompense nor claim copyright ownership. All rights belong to Elias Zapple.
10) By entering this competition, an entrant is indicating his/her agreement to be bound by these terms and conditions.
Yes, my slugs have been at it again and so this time I filmed some of them getting down with it and dancing till the break of dawn. This shall be the last time and I will not tolerate such liberal, fun acts again. Slugs are here to work, slime kitchens, make cups of herbal tea, praise me, listen to my prose and burgle shopping centres. And yet, here they are - as captured on film - dancing to a version of Misirlou by the Black-Eyed Peas. Disgraceful behaviour.
I am participating in a blog tour. What is a blog tour I don't hear you ask? I haven't the foggiest, (or should I say sluggiest?). However, I have been roped into this by a mischievous fiend named, Tony Gilbert - a fellow author, funslug, and grower of feeble facial hair. His blog can be found here: http://tonygilbertauthor.weebly.com
So, I have been asked to take part as I am renowned the world over and a blog tour just wouldn't be a blog tour without yours truly. With me participating the blog tour finally has some glamour, prestige and electric furriness. Below you shall find the answers to four questions answered in the Zapple way followed by bios of three other bloggers that were willing to take over the baton. Enough rambling, read on!
1) What am I working on?
Aside from another moustache to rival Mr Snazzy (shh! He doesn't know yet!) and another genetically modified slug that can write books that actually sell and make me richer than that Rowling person, I am currently putting the finishing touches to Nicu - The Littlest Vampire in 'Fangless'. A rather short title. It's about a fangless vampire - if you hadn't guessed. If you hadn't guessed from the title then Clyde the Slug will be over to visit you shortly to give you a thorough grounding in English, home economics and sluggonomics.
Once Nicu has been completed, I plan on starting work on the third in the Duke & Michel series, entitled 'The Return of the Nibbles', then start work on 'Cyril the Dragon'. After all that's completed I may continue with my plans to conquer Norfolk.
2) How does my work differ from others of its genre?
First of all it's infinitely better and I say that as an objective observer. My books contain the Zapple wit that can only be found in books written by Elias Zapple. If there are other books containing the famed Zapple wit then please let me know so that my slugs can hunt them down and give their kitchen a thorough sliming!
3) Why do I write what I do?
I write what I do as that's what emerges from my magnificent brain. My slugs occasionally help and most of them are not the sharpest tools in the toolbox. It's a miracle they can write anything at all. So, be grateful and stop asking me these questions. Hmm, maybe I'll throw a cabbage at you.
4) How does my writing process work?
After my morning cabbage throwing at my irritated neighbour Dieter, I retire to my study, sip from a cup of herbal tea, berate Colin the Slug for no reason whatsoever, prick my little finger then get scribbling. I'm normally passed out by lunchtime.
Now to pass the slug - I mean baton - to my three fellow authors, friends and cabbage-throwers.
MARY JOSEFINA CADE:
My ideal job description would be Merlin’s apprentice on the Camelot team. King Arthur is my once and future King and fairy gold is my natural currency. I did manage to snatch some away from my local dragon but stores have refused to accept it, so I’ve been forced to work in a money generating building. Here the computer demons keep me trapped in a dark and dusty basement full of mischievous elves.
When I can escape I spend my time translating my dreams into words. Plus creating spells and Grail seeking.
Teddy O' Malley was born in in Saint Louis, Missouri. She has traveled all over the United States and enjoys learning about new things and other cultures. She has enjoyed studying Spanish, German, and now Italian as well. She dreams of visiting a foreign country. Teddy O'Malley also works part time as a nurse assistant and helps the disabled and elderly.
Darren Lewis was born in Cardiff in 1975 and now lives with his wife and two children in Norfolk.
After twenty years in the print industry he has seen many books and magazines being produced around him, and although an avid reader of many genres, it wasn't until his daughter Ellie, aged 6 at the time, asked for a story of her own that inspired him to put pen to paper.
"Ellie and I would like to make up bedtime stories, mainly about a kangaroo that travelled the world and have adventures. Then one day she quite calmly asked me for a book of her own!"
Bedtime stories and his daughter’s request would lead to the first book in the Seren trilogy. 'Ellie and the Rabbits' in which our young heroine meets a group of talking rabbits.
In Maputo I am known for my love of tinned tuna.