Being a children's author of notable works such as Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor, Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting, Jellybean the Dragon and Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch as well as a noted slug breeder that commands many a slug of which all do my bidding - whether that be making my tea, fetching my moustache wax or attacking shopping centres, this inactive lifestyle has caused me to have quite the belly. There it sits, hanging over my belt like a big piece of dough. Yes, I should start doing stomach crunches or sit ups or perhaps get my slugs to bounce up and down on it but when one spends as much time as I do sitting down writing incredibly funny children's books, what else can I do? Besides, a belly makes a statement. It says, I am a writer and a creative genius and my belly is testament to that.
It could be that I know not what I am talking about, and that is quite likely as there is not much I know - except the art of cabbage throwing, styling moustaches and writing superb children's literature (Duke & Michel) that is adored across all of Camberwell - however, is Minecraft not merely a latter day Sim City? Perhaps you do more actual building and... oh, how I miss playing Sim City. I used to play it. I know that I was but a child growing up in Elizabethan England and then spent my formative years down various chimneys in Victorian London but I also liked to play the odd video game. Could I, Elias Zapple, get to grips with this Minecraft craze? Could I get to destroy others like how they tried to destroy me in Vietnam? I shall, wanted or not, enter the world of Warcraft... Minecraft, and build like I've never built before. I was a master at Sim City, I shall master this too.
Right now, on this very website, you can find many interviews conducted with Elias Zapple. That's right! Get your Zapple-fix and head on over to:
You can never have enough Zapple! Go there pronto before he gets angry, turns green - from having eaten too many cabbages - and starts to order his slugs to attack you. These are killer slugs!
In Maputo I am known for my love of tinned tuna.