Recipe for cabbage soup:
10 fat juicy, in the prime of their lives, slugs
1 whole cabbage
Slug stock (made a week before and involving the boiling of salted slugs)
Keep replacing the slugs' clothes with even bigger clothes so they think they're losing weight where in fact they're gaining weight because you keep adding a bit more slug feed at every dinnertime. When they're as fat as Fatty Arbuckle, encourage them to go swimming in the nearest saucepan.
Chop the cabbage, toss it into the saucepan. Add the stock. Cover boil, blend and serve. Slimylicious.
Have you tried cabbage soup?
Guaranteed it'll make you poop.
Spending all day on the bog,
Passing one too many a log.
Lose your muscle, lose your fat
Cabbage soup will do just that.
watery, green it's nutritious
One thing it's not is delicious.
But it's cheap to make, easy to grow,
It'll help with your digestive flow.
If you need help, please see me
I'm the one that's rather cabbagey.
For many a cabbage I do have,
Then every hour be on your lav.
Very soon you'll love your loo,
As you drop yet another poo.
Cabbage soup is that great,
I should know as I'm never late.
So try my cabbage recipe,
It'll turn your pee green, hee-hee-hee.
Well, Slugland was a bit of a waste of time. Not much was achieved there. Yes, I learnt some new cabbage recipes, learnt new techniques in how to breed, modify and train slugs, and acquired some new killer slugs that are deadly by the touch but I felt that I could've achieved much more if I had just stayed home, pricked my finger, thrown cabbages at Dieter and gotten my current crop of slugs to infiltrate Dieter's home and steal all of his tins of soup. Oh well.
O Elias Zapple, you are so great
from the fields that doth bear your name
to the towns that singeth and cryeth for you
for fear of thou which is curly and furry
O Elias Zapple, you are so resplendent
in your dashing Zappleness
your hair in which poetry has been written and
recited through the ages
where many a cabbage been thrown
tossed hither and thither not landing on
but upon noggin of Dieter
O Elias Zapple, emperor of slugmony
ambassador to slugs that doth battle for thou
fight, explode in all the glory that is thine
thee struggle, bleed thickened slush and
bringeth home chocolate frosted cupcakes
O Elias Zapple, wordsmith for ankle-biters
great thou words be, cherished they are under the candyfloss tree
laureate thou shall one day be
bleed thy words on thy paper
goo goo g'joob
In Maputo I am known for my love of tinned tuna.