Inside this book you will find,
Funny nonsense from my mind.
Zany rhymes and slimy tales,
Creepy crawlies leaving bloody trails.
And a clever slug that shocks,
Tales about Cinders and Goldilocks.
Cabbages, slugs and Elias Zapple,
What rhymes with Zapple apart from apple?
Fun and craziness! (You'll have a good time),
There's even some that do not rhyme!
Read the book, there's so much more,
Or my slugs and I will go to war!
First, tell the slugs that they are long overdue for a holiday. When they start cheering and feeling all happy, provide them with some going away drinks. The drinks of course have a little something extra in them.
Once the slugs have passed out, toss them in the pot, add salt, pepper and water, bring to the boil and then blend with cream. Serve to the guests who believe it to be mushroom soup.
Avid readers, devoted followers, loyal subjects I wish to announce that I am back at home in my world of cabbages, slugs, and writing and soon, very soon, a new book will be released. There should be two but things have been moving slowly ever since Steve the Slug died. The new book is a book of rhymes that will delight, horrify, make you puke, split your sides and question my sanity. I'm already questioning my sanity as a matter of fact. Unfortunately, my sanity hasn't been answering my calls. The book of rhymes is entitled, 'Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch'. I shall keep you all updated as soon as I have a publication date. Keep throwing the cabbage!
In Maputo I am known for my love of tinned tuna.